I thought that I would write thousands of thousands of words before your departure. I thought that I would spend hours and hours on this small article. You are leaving tomorrow. I am sitting here, in front of my old computer that got “married” with yours two years ago, on the day we met each other for the first time. Many memories surfaced. But I still do not know what to write.

    The year 2008 was a disaster for me. I was totally defeated by the failure of a relationship that I had been cherishing for so long. I shut off all my feelings, spent everyday in pains and fought futilely with anorexia. Thank God that I was blessed to meet you (again) and spent those carefree days together with you.

    Monster, thank you for talking with me on the MSN in those cold nights, encouraging me and making me smile; thank you for revising my awfully poorly-written personal statements and teaching me those strange English words; thank you for interviewing me via telephone prior to my real tel-interview, pretending to be a professor; thank you for always sitting by my side in those boring classes, they turned interesting because of you and your “yellow jokes”.

    My pulse pounded as you said “I like you, monster”. For an instant, a feeling of “me too” bubbled through, too. But it took months before my pride and rigidness gave way and I was able to let the emotions inside me pass through my fingers, my keyboard and tell you that I like you, too. Hope it is not too late yet, huge monster.

    I fully understand that we will never be more than friends. I totally agree with you that no one went wrong. But I am still thankful, for that the days I spent with you cured me and taught me the importance of giving. Last week, I went to 7 shopping malls and 4 Watson’s, in order to get the perfume you wanted. I started to realize that if I really like somebody, I have to let him know. I started to realize that instead of receiving, I have to learn to give unconditionally, unreservedly. I started to realize how fortunate I was, and I have to make sure that I am worth loving.

    From now on, I will get healthier and healthier, eat as much as possible.From now on, I will learn English harder. Hope that one day, I will be able to revise your essays as well. From now on, I will try to get rid of the shadow of my past and start a new life.

    Bye-bye Monster. Thank you for all the happiness you always give to me. We’ll meet again, for sure.